Thursday, March 29, 2012

mean moms rule

A friend of mine shared a great article written by Denise Schipani titled Forget the Niceties. She also wrote Mean Moms Rule: Why Doing the Hard Stuff Now Creates Good Kids Later and this article is a blurb of her book.

I admit it, I only skimmed the article, but it was fantastic. It was so fantastic, I only skimmed the article and went about blogging about it right away.

I consider myself a mean mom  I'm sometimes worried I'm being judged behind my back. I don't care if I am, but still, I think I am. Schipani's article (book) really hits on some good points that I completely agree with and further justify my actions in our household.

Ok, so maybe I'm not a mean mom but I am certainly a loud mom and that can read mean to some people. Schipani gives seven reasons why mean mom's rule and these were my favorites:
  1. Retain sense of self. I have not given in to being a slouchy, gross mom that always looks like the rolled out of bed and fell down the stairs. Sure, some mornings are worse than others, but I always put my face on and wear real pants. My kids have added to my life, they haven't taken away from it. As she says, I think some people forget about themselves.
  2. Don't be afraid of the big, bad NO. I scream say NO all the time in our house. So many kids are told yes all the time but that just can't be possible in order to survive. Sure I tend to be a push over, but the kids don't get something every, single time we go into a store. As Schipani says, "no develops character" and I totally agree. Mini-lessons here! We are not a "kids choice house" over here.
  3. We fail our kids, a little bit, every day. Moms aren't perfect, I'm certainly not perfect. Yeah, sometimes I say I'm coming and I'm really finishing something up. She says, "little failure now= big success later" and I totally agree. Charlotte calls for help going potty every time and I know she can do it herself. She can!
  4. Remain in control at home. I whole-heartily agree with this. I will always remain in control at my home. I've been slowly teaching the girls that I'm the boss (even though Charlotte tells me she's the boss sometimes), but that's even more reason to stay in control. My girls will be self-confident because of me. They will not rule this roost.
  5. Our kids know how to do stuff. Yes, mine can! Charlotte can do puzzles, almost pump herself on the swing, go potty alone, get dressed, and ride a bike. I'm proud of her and what she can do. I know it's important for them to have tasks and things to do around the house. After all, I had chores as a kid...
It's really an article, and I presume book, worth reading. But if you think you are being a mean mom, you aren't alone. There are more of us out there that stand up for how we believe it "should be" to raise kids. You won't see the trendy 'kids choice' concept here at our house.

1 comment:

Lee said...

From one mean mom to another: Amen! : ) Great article.


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